We live in a world where we try to quantify everything. Certain things will never come with a rating. For instance the word “no”. From closing a deal to asking someone on a date, no one likes getting shut down. For entrepreneurs this feeling magnifies. Your business, product, idea is something you pour everything in to. What happens when people laugh at you, vow it won’t work, question what you are thinking. I’ve seen it and I’ve lived it. The reaction is visceral (ie. Gut Punch). You feel before you think. Doubt creeps in, it’s natural. You come to a point where quitting seems better than questioning yourself.
At this point people go in one of two directions. They quit, or they regroup and proceed on the path laid out before them. The best move on without batting an eyelash. Or at least that’s what we see. Most of them are already successful. There are a lot of resources about the importance of a positive mindset and value of a good “no“. It’s ok to bend to the limit, but never break.
Belief and consistency are components to success. The more we cut doubt the better. My goal is to outline tactical actions that will allow you to bend farther while pushing away the thought of breaking. If you have a goal/dream/vision that will have barriers to entry, this is for you.
Know Your Why
The dream motivates some and the nightmare motivates others. No matter what it is, make sure it is clear and defined. You want this thought to be life like. Keep it nearby. When you get that feeling of despair in your gut take a few mins and revisit your dream. This helps you reset. You realize the feeling is fleeting and the road is bigger then the bump you hit. Practice creative visualization as a technique to help with this.
Immediate Response Tools
Mike Tyson said “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face”. As an entrepreneur it’s your job to have a plan when you receive that gut punch. You need to trigger positive emotional responses. What helps? Music, videos, friends and fun. Corny? Yes. Effective? You better believe it.
Have a favorite pump up song? Play it. Have two or three friends who always make you feel better? Text them. Chipotle make you happy? Me to. Go and eat it. My go to is youtube. I keep an email with links to motivational videos that pull me up when I am down. If the video below doesn’t get you fired up, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. It means you must hate my LinkedIn posts.
Build Your Confidence
“Confidence is not ‘They’ll Like Me’, Confidence is ‘I’m Fine if they Don’t” – Tony Beig. For you to bounce back from no’s and negativity you need to be confident in your business and also in yourself. The reason – when your confidence in your business takes a hit, all you have is the person in the mirror. If that person isn’t ready to bounce back then you are compounding the negative. Focus on building yourself mentally, physically and spiritually. Create habits surrounding these categories. Habits of success will build your confidence and keep you focused.
Question, Learn, Apply
Mother Teresa has 52 million hits when you google her. Of the first 12, five are negative. Here’s the point. Everyone has an opinion. Before you let someones opinion effect you, ask yourself who is providing it. Are they where you want to be? Do you respect them? Are they an entrepreneur? If the answer to any of those are ‘no’ then brush yourself off and move forward. If the answers are yes, swallow your pride and ask for more details. Take the details in to effect and see if you can improve from them. If you can improve, apply them and try again.
This process: question –> learn –> apply –> improve will build your confidence. It will unlock new doors to your dream. This Theodore Roosevelt quote is a good reminder that not everyones opinion should count.